Yahoo!!!!

April 11 weight in........down 17 lbs!!!!  I have recahed my 5% body weight loss plus some!!!
Lov'in Weight Watchers Points Plus!!!!

11 weeks later.....

It's been a long time since I checked in and I just want to say that have now lost 13 pounds!!!  Still on the way to slimdom.  Counting points is the answer for me.  It's like getting a budget of 100.00 to spend a week and you can spend it on anything you want as long as you remain within the 100.00.  That's it.  Don't get me wrong, it is still very hard day to day, but that is what I do, one day at a time.  That's all you can do.  I find going up stairs a lot easier.  I have more energy too.  I will keep going.  I must, I want to.  I want to re-post something I wrote a few weeks ago:

I have a lot to say today.....I’ve had some aha moments (as Oprah puts it) in and around my body image, how I deny how my body really looks, and the shame I feel about it.  When I walk around without looking in a mirror or a window reflection, I think that I am 120 lbs and look great.  Even when I do look into a mirror at myself, I still don’t see the 269 lbs. that I really am!  It’s like reverse anorexia!!  When another overweight person says to me in conversation something like “fat people like us”, I am taken aback because I don’t think I am in that category.  It is not until I see a photo or video of myself that I am slammed in the face with the reality of how my body truly looks.  That reality sends me into a complete tailspin.  The denial is so great that I even try to talk myself into thinking that it was a bad angle shot and it made me look bigger than I am....OMG....this insanity has to stop!!  Then someone said to me that I should put a link on my glass-jewellery website http://www.dingolayglass.com  to this blog, and my first thought is “I can’t do that, people will then know that I am fat and I am a food addict”.  Then it occurs to me.......DAH....like no one knew that by looking at me for that past 20 years??!!  (I feel utter shame at this moment) Again, I repeat OMG....this insanity has to stop!!   I know that I am a food addict, that I am sure, but fat??? No, I’m not fat.....what the hell is my brain doing to me???  I think it is trying to protect me from shock so I don’t go into some suicidal mode or something.  Well, whatever it is, I have seen the light today and I am not feeling suicidal....but, mind you, a bit sick.  Bottom line (no pun intended) I am fat.  I am way over weight and I look it!  There, I said it!  My clothes aren’t hiding it (like I think it is), and yes, people see a fat person when they see me because I AM FAT and I look FAT!  What a relief!  I can actually get on with my goal to have a normal, slender body that allows me to get around so much easier, climb stairs with vigor, bounce out of bed in the morning without moaning and groaning with every move and feel 10 years younger....oh how I would love to feel ten years younger right now!  This is huge for me.  And I know that anyone out there that is in the same way I am right now understands this.  So feel free to leave a comment on this blog post.

At my Weight-Watchers-meeting last week I also had another aha moment.  When our facilitator said (after 11 years at her lifetime goal weight) that she still gets the urge to go over the edge with a whole chocolate cake because that is her true nature with food deep within.  And she did have almost the whole cake!  But the next day she was right back to counting her points because that is the lifestyle that she chose to live 11 years ago.  That was major to me!  I saw that she was not just a slim person, but she was just like me inside.  The over-eater that wants to take over.  She has chosen to live the Weight-Watchers lifestyle.  Not be on a diet, but the lifestyle.  AHA!  I get it!  Wow, that was so enlightening to me that I think about it at least once a day.  I am very inspired by this.  There is hope.  A long way to go, but at least there is hope.

Feb. 22-Day after Weigh in....

Weighed in on Feb. 14 and lost 1.8 lbs. which brought me to 8 lbs. lost!
Weighed in on Feb. 21 and lost .2 lbs. so now at an 8.2 lbs weight loss.  That's okay!
I am fighting the urge to eat a bag of cookies right now due to some upsetting factors happening this past few days.  This is hard to cope with when your coping mechanism is a bag of cookies!  The very thing that saves me, also can kill me.....what a strange dilemma...anyway, must press on and try to distract myself.  I think a good dose of "The Biggest Loser" is in order.

Weigh in - Feb. 7

Down .8 lbs.  Hey, better than gain.  I'm still going for it!  Total lost - 6.2 lbs.
Meeting talked about physical hunger vs mental hunger.  This is what I have been concentrated on for the last few weeks.  Really feeling the real hunger, the physical feelings that it brings.  Eat when hunger, physically hungry, not to comfort, calm, medicate.  This is my goal now and to count points as part of the rest of my life so I have control over the food and not the food having control over me.

Weigh in day-Jan. 31!

Yahoo!!!  I lost 1.8 lbs!!!!!  I have earned my 5 lb. star now!!
I am making up some pretty good recipes with AJI- http://ajigourmetproducts.com/ I use it to slow cook my chicken breasts and thighs (0 points for AJI) and in soups for added flavor, stews, and the list goes on!
I have even mixed a little with some fat free cream cheese and put it on a bake potato!  So good and better than butter!  Also, if cooking a chicken breast, pound it first to flatten and then cook it in a grilling machine such as the George Foreman Lean Mean Fat Reducing Grilling Machine.  After pounding the chicken breast, spread with one of AJI's products and then grill!  Mmmmm.

AJI Gourmet Condiment added to ground turkey

I browned up some ground turkey and added AJI Hot and Spicy (0 points) to it and then added that to a Smart Ones Frozen Dinner (3 Cheese Ziti Marinara) and it was fabulous!!!  Like eating out at a Italian gourmet restaurant!  Soooo good!!!  You gotta get some AJI!!!  http://ajigourmetproducts.com/

Weighed in last Monday!

Gained 1/4 of a pound!  WTF??!!!  I was shocked because I measured everything and marked it down.  Don't know why this happened but I will press on and hope for a loss next Monday.